Resilience is like a rubber band. It gets stretched to its limit but always bounces back ready for the next task.

Resilience is the ability to adapt well during stressful events. Our ability to be resilient depends on factors like genetics, early learning experience, exposure to stressful events, self-awareness, and having support. While many people are naturally resilient, it’s a skill that can be developed through becoming more self-aware and more connected with ourselves and others. Growing in resilience enables us to make better choices and bounce back more quickly after challenges.

When people are overwhelmed by major life stressors, their capacity to rebound diminishes, and they have a greater chance of experiencing anxiety, depression, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), or even Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD). Developing resilience helps us absorb and recover from stressors and deal with the unpredictable things life throws at us in positive, healthy ways that make us stronger.

Qualities of Resilience

What does a resilient person look like? Typically, people who adapt well to stressful life experiences:
  • are good communicators and problem-solvers
  • are in touch with their emotions, not directed by them
  • have strong self-confidence and believe in their abilities
  • set goals, make plans, follow through
  • lean on others who will be a positive and healthy support system (family, friends, support groups, mental health professionals)
  • understand what not to do (scroll negative social media posts, engage in arguments, watch negative news stories)

Building Resilience

When we feel threatened, we naturally react with a flight, fight, or freeze response which often leads to negative outcomes. When we pause to notice how a situation or stressor may be impacting our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, we’re able to adapt and respond more positively. As we build resilience, we see our experiences as opportunities to learn. That makes it easier to adapt to new situations and keeps us hopeful in uncertain times.  
 
Consider the following strategies to build resilience:
  • Be Mindful. Be aware of what you see, hear, feel, touch, and smell. Notice bodily sensations, such as tightness and shallow breathing.
  • Be Active: Get off the couch. Move! Take a walk. Dance. Play basketball.
  • Be Connected: Reach out to friends and family.
  • Practice Self-Care: Figure out ways to take care of you.
  • Breathe Deep or Meditate: Take a time-out just “to be.” Pause. Focus on your breathing. Do a short meditation.
  • Be Learning: Sign up for a class or learn a new skill online or in person.
  • Be Generous: Sometimes when we help another person, we feel better too.

Keep in Mind

Resilience starts with being self-aware. And that leads to knowing where, when, and how to disengage to rest, recover, and renew. It includes connecting with others who are supportive.

Most life pressures won’t go away overnight. Pace yourself. Make room for what you are feeling. Exercise self-compassion.

Look for groups and programs that provide support, and reach out to your EAP or other employer-provided counseling service.


Sources:

American Psychological Association. Resilience for teens: 10 tips to build skills on bouncing back from rough times. Accessed January 22, 2023.
https://www.apa.org/topics/resilience/bounce-teens
American Psychological Association. Resilience. Accessed January 22, 2023.
http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/road-resilience.aspx
Mayo Clinic. Resilience: Build Skills to Endure Hardship. Accessed January 22, 2023.
http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-living/adult-health/in-depth/resilience/art-20046311?pg=2